End of the Old and Beginning of the New

Grateful I am that this year is done, over, finished.

Not that it was a bad year. It really wasn't. It was one with many good moments and memories, funny things that happened, milestone birthdays & anniversaries and just bonding times that have drawn my family closer together.

But it was also a year of pain, sadness, sickness & death. It was a year of disappointments, incredible frustrations (mostly centred around our van), growing pains and tears.

What I have discovered anew is that yes, the good moments are fondly remembered and talked about but they are made better by the fact that they have often come from the "bad" and painful moments of the year. Sometimes set in sharp relief, the happier times were happy because we had to endure the sad stuff. For example, when our van broke down days before we were to head our for a family camping trip, it was very difficult to get past the frustration and almost anger we felt. We don't have any extra money set aside to help us through vehicle repairs and this van tends to rack up expensive repairs and so we end up relying on family and husband's work to get us through. We don't expect them to help but God's provision seems to have included them for which we are very grateful. So there were days when we were sure that we wouldn't get a vacation nor would we even be able to get our van repaired.

And here is where God created joy out of sorrow, peace in the midst of our small storm. My in-laws offered us their vehicle to transport kids and camping gear to where we were intending to spend our holiday. Husband's work offered to get our van to the repair facility and would discuss the bill with us after we got home. So, did we have a good time camping? Absolutely. Did we recognize God's provision and blessing? Absolutely. More examples of God taking care of us after we got home and I am still amazed at God's love and care for us even when it feels and appears like we have nothing to offer.

God is good. He is loving and He is grace incarnate. We are taken through rough and difficult times. None of what God is means that we are immune to struggle and pain and sadness. The truth is that without these things, we don't grow and we don't understand the depths of joy and peace and calm.

So yes, I am glad this year is over. That doesn't mean I will shove my memories and accumulated feelings about the year in a drawer and wish it never happened. Rather the opposite...I can enter the new year understanding how God has changed me and built me up. I can move forward believing that God will continue to create in me a heart of wisdom and strength. I don't know what will happen this new year. I don't know if it will be filled with good or troublesome things. I do know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God will walk beside me and mine, holding us and caring for us as we abide and live in obedience to Him.

Thank you God for this year...for the good, the bad and the truly ugly parts of it. Thank you for the new year to come...may you use us to bless others as You have blessed us.

New Discoveries

New discoveries...this I am grateful for today.

The particular new discovery I am referring to is one I found while reading through some threads on Crosswalk a couple days ago. It is Apple Cider Vinegar, in particular, unpasteurized and with the "mother" inside. I know, sounds odd and weird and all kinds of other adjectives and normally, I am not one to jump on the health-food bandwagon. However....

One of my fears is having scopes and tests and invasive procedures and horrible diagnoses regarding my body and health. My mom and my sisters and my brother have all endured these things and it scares me, quite frankly. And since I have inherited much of their phisology and health tendencies, I am fairly certain these things will be in my future. Unless I do something about it, at least, do what I can to stem all that off.

Hence my excitement, albeit hesitant and skeptical, about the wonders of APV in its raw form. So today I bought some (along with locally-grown honey) and after supper I took my first "dose". One tbsp mixed in half a bottle of water was sort of hard to swallow, had a tangy, sharp taste but after dipping my finger in the honey, the taste very quickly disappeared.

So what are the results so far? Well, my stomach feels abit pangy...not achy, not acidy but I feel a few pangs or pings. I am not hungry or craving anything which I generally feel at this point in the evening. I am still headachy but that's most likely from the coughing I've been doing all day.

There you go. Darryl has told me to do this for a month and then see how I feel at the end. That's what I will do.

So thank you to those on Crosswalk who have touted all the benefits of APV and who have unbeknownst to them convinced me to try this.

Gratitude

Gratitude is not easy for me sometimes. I get caught in some of the grouchy, irritated and just plain bad feelings I have and that's where I stay. Take today for example. It should have been a good day. We were all home, relaxing and enjoying some of the gifts we had received...well, that the kids received. They were up early, whipped through their "must-do" tasks and then jumped full-throttle into the Nintendo Wii game they were playing. This, for them, is a lot of fun.

As for me, I slept in late, having slept not so well last night. This cough of mine hasn't let up and I cough so much that it gives me a headache. So as much as I relished the idea of sleeping in it really wasn't the best since I woke up with an even worse headache.

I came downstairs and the kids were having a great time. Yet all I saw was the mess in the living room and kitchen from Christmas eve and from dumping all our stuff after our day out yesterday. The dishes were piled on the counter still and there were things everywhere I looked. I seriously wondered why I got up this morning.

This afternoon didn't improve my outlook much. Wandering ar0und in Blogger World, I began to envy much of what others have written in their blogs. The blogs I read were so inspirational, funny, heart-warming or hard-hitting pull-no-punches sorts of stuff that as much as I loved reading them, I felt discouraged because my pitiful little blog is nothing of any of that sort. It's just a blog...boring, unread and uncommented on by anyone. I kept thinking I should make an effort for 2008 to blog consistently but then I just got overwhelmed thinking about it.

But then...as I was making Peppermint Balls, and dwelling on the whole blog dilemma, I thought that maybe I should just be grateful. Oprah always talks about a gratitude journal. My blog could be that...a gratitude blog. It could be a good way to end the day by focusing on something other than the bad stuff or negative feelings or the blahs of the day. Beginning the day with prayer and reading God's word and ending it with praise and thankfulness for something that God has blessed me with truly appeals to me.

So now, today, I am grateful for this blog and the blogs I read earlier that inspired and pushed me to think outside my critical self. I am thankful for God's boundless patience with me when I give in to my feelings and forget that there is so much to be thankful for.