Making this a short one...

because my posts have been very long-winded lately.

I'm joyful, filled with joy, rejoicing in the fact that I have found joy.

I was trying to learn new things, new spiritual disciplines and trying to learn them by the month or months. But it was not working for me, mostly because I haven't truly learned to have joy. This I realized on our way home from camping this weekend. We camped with Andrew & Jacqueline & their kids at Sibbald Point Provincial Park. It was a good break from our routine at home and just a good chance to get together with them in a relaxed setting.

It was on our way home though, that I started reflecting on my spirit in the moment. I was feeling anxious, a bit depressed, nervous and just not happy. And that's when God opened my eyes to what I was sensing lately...that I struggle with joy, almost constantly. I also relaized that with all the things that have happened this year, joy and its counterpart, sorrow, are constantly at war with me and in my deepest darkest moments, that's when I need to find joy.

Joy is my theme of the year. It has to be. A few years ago I just knew the theme was healing because so much healing had begun in my life that year and broken or fractured relationships and feelings were mending. This year I have had significant events thrust at me that were beyond my control which created a lot of depression, sorrow and anxiety. I have a choice...to give in and falter under all that or find joy and with God's joy, move on and beyond all that.